Things That Look Like Chos

 

#4 The Google Chrome Logo

You’ve got your guac. You’ve got your salsa. You’ve got your cheese. You’ve got a circle of soured cream. The blue sphere obviously symbolises the ecstasy felt when such elements come together and, yes, the cho resides beneath, fully relished.

No, it’s not a stretch. For god’s sake open your minds.

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That’s Nacho Tee Shirt, It’s Mine (Yawn)

It’s official: Nachos are not conducive to stylish clothing. If you want to get involved in Nacho High Couture the options are limited. And slogan based.

The I Have No Imagination Option

The I Have No Imagination But I Am A Slightly Edgier (And Possessive) Person Option

The I Clicked The Wrong Link Option

The I Can Link Words And Images Appropriately Option

The I Cannot Link Words And Images Appropriately Option

The Old Joke Option 1 (Sassy Independent “YOU TELL ‘EM GIRL” Woman)

The Old Joke Option 2 (Sympathetic/dull)

The Retro Option

The Vaguely Disturbed Retro Option

Just Vaguely Disturbed

All tee shirts can be, erm, bought by clicking on the images. it takes you straight to the “shop” they’ve been “designed” for.

Nacho Aesthetic. Naesthetic.

It’s difficult to look hot while eating nachos. Hence why they don’t feature heavily on “top ten foods to eat while on a date” lists. Two nachoists recently featured here at Nacho Times attempt to disprove this, to varying degrees of success.

Londonfood4afiver’s Joe at The Boadicea (rated 3/5) putting the “sass” in “nachos hanging out of your mouth”

Horrid Movies Jordan doesn’t quite achieve the same sophistication. In his own words: “It looks like the weight of the nachos is pulling my face down.” (Jordan is pictured at Camden Market, rated 2/5)

I think we have a winner.

Cinema Nacho Experience

Upon wondering whether or not to buy nachos at the cinema I’m about to go to (fascinating opening to a post, I know) I was alerted to this by way of warning. It’s an excerpt from a friend of The Nacho Times, Cian Agnew, and his (horrific) experience with Cinema Chos. Put me right off living, let alone going to the cinema.

Necessary Scene Setting: A really annoying experience with completely inept cinema staff. Read the full blogpost entitled “All I wanted was to see Invictus” here

“…But I worried not. I decided to cheer myself up by getting a massive tub of nachos. Also it was a pleasure to see Phil at work, especially after watching two shaved dogs try and run a ticket desk.

I went up to the food counter and was greeted by a friendly enough bloke who looked a bit like a slighty over inflated sex doll. I asked him for nachos. I saw him pour some Doritos into a plastic tub and chuck on some jalepenos. He then turned to me and asked ‘would you like cheese, relish or sour cream?’ I told him I wanted cheese. He then asked ‘both of them?’

Confusion.

Why would he ask ‘both of them’ after giving me 3 options? I reasoned it could mean one of two things. Either;

A) He thinks I’ve ordered 2 bowls on nachos

or

B) There’s two types of cheese, eg Edam and Brie.

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I panicked a bit. So much rumbling through my mind, so I just said ‘yes’.

I got two pots of yellow goo, one hot and one cold. As I walked to the designated screen I saw the girl from till 3 walk out of the ladies drying her hands.

And the film was shit.”

I think we can all agree that this is not good nacho etiquette. I might not bother with the Cinema Chos after all because I have a feeling it will only make me want to throw things.

Oh, I’m going to see Submarine by the way. Yeah, cool.