The Ultimate London Nacho: The Camden Head

Place: The Camden Head, Camden Passage (Islington)

If this was a dating site and I fancied nachos, I would have private messaged these. And worn a really revealing dress on the first date.


Then found them to be a little cold if well adorned, Caeser-like, in the sun soaked beer garden of The Camden Head. Surrounded by laughing couples and a guy with no teeth. Who was alone. But that’s irrelevant (if poignant and telling).

Anyway, the small nachos (pictured) were £4.20 and, while it was a little plate, the mountain was Everest. The relish was delicious too, although the jalapenos tasted like Dettol which was bizarre if, awkwardly, slightly pleasant. Unfortunately, the Everest proportions meant the mountain was quite cold, and there was a lot of pulling and tugging to get the chos with the cheese which had solidified, clinging to the chips like a child clinging to, you know, some chips.

However, distribution and amount of the Big Four was pleasing and the use of chilli Doritos, while not homemade or requiring any effort whatsoever, meant that I was almost actively searching for Bald Chos by the end. Almost. I know. Shoot me.

Overall I think this was a positive experience (bar slightly plasticky and cold cheese) and I plan to give him a second date. It, sorry.

The moral? Seasoned chips work well in nachos and if you have no teeth, you’ll probably be alone. Also, profile pictures can look inviting but the person in question might turn out to be cold, if well dressed.

Ultimate London Nacho? If they were warmer I might be tempted to give them a 4. Will have to try the larger nachos in order to fully rule out The Camden Head. For now, 3.5/5.

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Taco Bell Introduce “Doritos Taco Locos”

American chain Taco Bell have  begun testing tacos with shells made from nacho-flavoured Doritos.
They’re called the Doritos Taco Locos, like Ricky Martin’s 1999 smash hit but with more Loco(a) and less Camp Gyration. But Ricky aside, what’s going on? Nacho flavoured tacos isn’t wrong, it’s just a bit… incestuous. Like making a toast sandwich. Or mixing ketchup and HP sauce. Or getting it on with a blood relative.

Consumerist.com has video footage of a customer testing out this nacho-taco hybrid and apparently it’s quite good. Which is what cousins who marry say. Incest aside, this does show how advanced and gutsy the Americans are, nachoally, compared with us. The UK needs to be a bit more ballsy. Treat the cho like a blank canvas waiting to be splattered with, y’know, interesting things. But is interbreeding the way forward? Personally, before anyone gets creative, I think the UK should start focussing on perfecting the art of making normal nachos (thinly veiled dig at nacho quality in Britain).

In the meantime, here’s some light-hearted humour from twitter:

@Katharyn Hodgkins: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese

OH KATHARYN YOU’RE SUCH AN OUTRAGEOUS JEST-BANDIT.

Doritos Nacho Cheese Sauce

Yes, it’s been on the shelves for a while now, but it nicely kicks off a new running feature we’re going to call: HELLO, I’M ON YOUR NACHOS (reviewing all the things you can, well, put on your nachos)

Kicking off proceedings is the Nacho Cheese Dip from Doritos (£1.98 from ASDA)

Why bother opening two separate sauces and grating some cheese when you can use just one? Just one artery clogging, everything-mixed-in-together death sauce? Doritos are flogging this all-in-one “nacho cheese” sauce, presumably for the incredibly lazy, or arm-less. Except you still have to open it, so perhaps for those with chronic arm fatigue.

It’s not actually a death sauce, it’s  quite nice. However at Nacho Times we do not believe that the Big Four can be condensed into just one. Or compromised in any way. That’s why we recommend you use Nacho Cheese Dip in place of your usual soured cream, guacamole, or as an addition to all four.

As an addition, it’s fine. I mean, it tastes as artificial and vaguely bizarre as any liquid cheese poured into a tub and flavoured with nondescript mexican spices is going to taste. But it’s quite tasty in small quantities. Just don’t get overly excited or anything.