Homemade Nachos

There is only one word to describe the nachos kindly photographed and sent in by Amanda Ciske from Wisconsin. That word is “wahey”

If these chos were a forest, they’d be a massive forest. If they were a mammal they’d be a massive blue whale covered in forest. Look, there’s fresh tomato in there! IT’S SO FRESH!

Fresh, and yet more proof that Americans do it better and England is the country where chos go to die. Amanda informed me tex mex is the main cuisine in Milwaukee, her hometown. I quote (because this is hard-hitting journalism and real journalists need quotes): “There are restaurants selling nachos on every corner, it’s a big deal.”

Every corner? I want to move to Milwaukee. In fact, let’s all go right now. You’ll probably say it’s unwise to move to another continent for gastronomical reasons, but I’m tempted. Who are you anyway? Gandhi?

JUSTIN BIEBER AND HIS BALD CHO: ONE YEAR ON

This time last year, Justin Bieber became a walking advert for nachos. Except what we’re seeing here is a bald cho plain served with taramasalata and washed down with Persil. Great, Bieber, undo all our hard work and promote baldness to your legions of fans. Check the glossary if terms such as “bald cho plain” are confusing you. If “taramasalata” is giving you issues, Google it. I’m not Sharon Britannica.

No it’s not breaking news but it’s Justin Bieber with some nachos. You can print it out and stroke it, crying, or whatever you people do when faced with a rap moppet drinking diluted washing powder.

Taco Bell Introduce “Doritos Taco Locos”

American chain Taco Bell have  begun testing tacos with shells made from nacho-flavoured Doritos.
They’re called the Doritos Taco Locos, like Ricky Martin’s 1999 smash hit but with more Loco(a) and less Camp Gyration. But Ricky aside, what’s going on? Nacho flavoured tacos isn’t wrong, it’s just a bit… incestuous. Like making a toast sandwich. Or mixing ketchup and HP sauce. Or getting it on with a blood relative.

Consumerist.com has video footage of a customer testing out this nacho-taco hybrid and apparently it’s quite good. Which is what cousins who marry say. Incest aside, this does show how advanced and gutsy the Americans are, nachoally, compared with us. The UK needs to be a bit more ballsy. Treat the cho like a blank canvas waiting to be splattered with, y’know, interesting things. But is interbreeding the way forward? Personally, before anyone gets creative, I think the UK should start focussing on perfecting the art of making normal nachos (thinly veiled dig at nacho quality in Britain).

In the meantime, here’s some light-hearted humour from twitter:

@Katharyn Hodgkins: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese

OH KATHARYN YOU’RE SUCH AN OUTRAGEOUS JEST-BANDIT.